Impressions on the heart

The kids here never cease to impress me. I mean, of course kids will be kids...they can do things and make decisions that make me want to scream...but their genuine grace in accepting their responsibilites and circumstances awes me--especially because so many of them take on what my eyes see as adult roles as such young ages. I have been seeing this throughout my experience in many different ways and while I admire these kids due to this, it also scares the crap out of me--especially with the young girls.

I often walk around 28 de Agosoto before program and on the weekends and am completely overwhelmed. I see Valeria (13) or Sydney (16) doing laundry or holding the hand of their 2 year old sister while she tries to walk with a baby bottle stuck under their arms. I see Vanessa (11) with bags under her eyes as she shadows her 1 1/2 year old sister in the middle of the street--while her mom washes all the families clothes. I see Julissa (9) with her big brown eyes shining as she dresses her 4 year old sister Maryuri. I see Carolina (9) cooking what little food is left in the house. Not to mention Mafer (17) who sits and breast feeds her 4 month old baby. The list can go on...and that is just in one neighborhood. I see the same thing here in my own neighborhood Antonio Jose de Sucre. Everyday I am awed yet pained as I watch one of my closest friends, Stefanie (13) who recently lost her mother. She is up each morning playing the role of mom while her Grandmother heads out to work. She cooks, cleans--does what needs to be done for her 4 brothers and baby sister. She is the main caregiver to her 10 month old sister--which she does with a tremendous amount of care and gentleness...and after a full days work in her home, she studies at night school from 7 to 10pm. With all of these younger girls, I cannot think of a time when I have heard them complain. While I often can see the yearning to be free..to be the kids that they are, they know they need to help. And they have so much genuine love for their families.

Even on days when these young girls can be free of responsibility for 2 hours at our after school programs, I see how they still watch over their siblings and the young children with such caring gentle eyes. This whole idea really does floor me. They are such beautiful, amazing young girls who ahave ALL the potential in the world. Yet I am scared for them. I often think about what their lives will be like when I come back for a visit in 5, 6 or 7 years. I hate to even say it, but I worry these girls will wake up one day in the same house, in the same neighborhood, doing these same tasks only for children of their own. I want to protect them but I do not know how. Yet it is not one persons fault--it is this cycle of poverty that limits these young girls and women. It is their role in this country and in this culture.

I get angry becuase it is not fair. Not fair that they do not have the opportunity to fall in love with something. To truly find a passion and make a life out of it. These girls have left an impression on me that will never go away. Their sparkling eyes, tired faces and brilliant smiles will forever remind me of how I need to keep fighting for them. It will remind me of how fortunate I truly am to have grown up female in a country where I do not need to take on a specific role--but where women can truly try to be whatever they want to be..without some of these limits that I see in my experience here each and every day.