Friday, May 6, 2011

Lesson learned due to the fragments of my heart

I wake up more or less everyday and I feel happy to be here. Even after the hard days, I look forward to going to the shelter and taking another stab at one of my english lessons and just fooling around with the boys. No matter how chaotic the kids, activity or homework room are, I still get butterflies of anxiousness on the bus on the way to Manos, to see the brilliant smiles and recieve the small hugs from the kids. And after even the longest and worst of days, I yearn to get home and just sit and decompress with the families across the street. I truly am in love with everything that I do here. This scares me. It scares me because the reality is I am not going to be here forever. I only have about 3 months left here and I truly worry that I will not fall in love with something the same way I have fallen in love with my mission, my work, with this country and its people.

Yet there is one thing that has been consistent for me bother here and at home--Education, the doors it can open, and the true strength, power and potential of children and youth. Both here and in my time in Chicago, I can see how much the care, effort and encouragement of a teacher or a mentor can motivate and change the life of one person. How even the very basic access to education can pave a path into a great future--if someone is there to tell these young kids that they can do it, they they deserve more, that they are special. They need to be guided to continue to study, learn and find a way to better their circumstances. When kids are in situations where all they know is the norm--such as not finishing high school, or simlpy taking on a woman´s role in the house, it is near impossible for them to beat the odds and step out of the status qup of their realities--yet when they have someone to remind them, push them and open their eyes to their own greatness, they may take that leap of faith. Break that mold. Open themselves to more opportunities by educating themselves. And although my heart truly is fragmented after my experiences here, my passion for education has noe become my responsibility--no matter where I am.

For the past 9 months I have been able to fight to be that positive force in the lives of these impressionable young kids and teenagers...and I need to let go and realize that I cant be here forever, but through this program, more volunteers will come and be yet another positive presence for them. ...and realize that there are other kids back at home, who are just as valuable and worthy of my love, support and motivation. Kids who need that same teacher or mentor to open their eyes to education and their own power to learn, move forward and make a life for themselves that is worth living. Children, teenagers--all young peopel---they hod the true key to the door of our world´s future.