Suffering of the Innocent

In being here there have been countless experiences and interactions that have made me sit in a pool of uneasiness because I hate how innocent people suffer. I often think of how it truly is a game of chance--this could easily be me...but it´s not. My heart breaks when I see the true struggles of my friends and family here, and how they truly are not at fault for their circumstances...and I especially feel that way about the kids.

Everyday I go to Manos and I can more or less rely on the fact that at least 2, if not all 4 of Ricardo, Vicente, Marjorie and Julissa will be there. They are 4 kids who have no guidance. Who clearly struggle in school. Who´s father barely notices them. One of the only interactions I have ever seen is when he comes to drop off the 4 year old, Marjorie at the door of Manos. I spend all day in 28 de Agosto on some Saturdays and he won´t utter a world to them. But Why? These kids are not the root of his problems. With that said, I also am compassionate towards him. He, just like his children, does not have much of a say in the life that he leads. He is a single father who has struggles that I cannot even imagine, and I have no idea what his life is truly like. I cannot judge him as much as it makes me fall apart to watch his kids, who yes are happy young kids, struggle to get their basic needs met.

Ricardo at times is one of our biggest behavior issues, yet I have to remember his circumstances. One day I held him behind to talk about his bahavior, and he laid on the cement stair, hid his face, and then told me about how much he didn´t want to go home. How his Dad didn´t love him...how he hadn´t ate that day---etc. And this information, which I had been guessing for a while now became real--and it broke me to pieces. he should not be dealing with this at such a young age. It is not his fault, but its his reality. How can I sit here and fully feel adequate when there are so many things that these kids need? That their families need? They are so innocent yet lack so much. Sometimes I find it hard to pray to God when I don´t understand how this can be the truth and reality of the peoples lives here....yet at the same time I feel such a powerful sense of love here--amidst all of these inhumane or unjust realities. The only answer I have come to is that I need to keep working and being with the kids and people here in Ecuador.